Mar 31, 2009

Movie Reviews @ The Temple

The Bucket List - Believe it or not, this movie has some redeeming value!  I don't know why I rented it, I groaned out loud when I saw the email, and I watched it as soon as I got it because I felt like I wanted to get it out of my house and get a good movie in (I really need to sort my queue).  But as it turns out there's some decent things in here, mostly the beginning and end.  The middle is all rich prancing around the world.  Even if I was old and facing my own mortality and looking for someone to embody what it's like to look back on so much and forward to so little and finding a measure of worth in that summation, I wouldn't want to watch a rich twat dash around the world doing all the things I never got to do.  Maybe it's escapist "oh I wish I could do that", but it just seems mean to me.  On the otherhand, I found the relationship between the two guys to be remarkably genuine.  There was some hamfisted character set up and development, but I half believed them at the end of the movie that these two characters meant a lot to each other, it was impressive (not good, just up from low expecations).  Plus Morgan Freeman can narrate anything and make it watchable.

Pineapple Express - Y'know how fucking annoying potheads can be?  Yeah, now multiply that by 2 hours.

Spiderwick Chornicles - I'm going to say that this is a good story, but a not very good movie.  I really like the aesthetic of the fantasy.  Not that I'm any kind of expert on young adult fiction, but I don't see a lot of this kind of fantasy.  I mostly see the lord of the rings kind of fantasy, a little darker, not what you would call a fairy tale.  This is much more the latter, with pretty fairies with petals for wings and goblins that are more like toads than monsters (oh, I just thought of one, Pan's Labyrinth, though very dark, it's this kind of fantasy).  It reminds me of that game Folklore.  I really loved the aesthetic of the game, it was so cool to see and it just made me happy.  Unfortunately, that game was not very well executed and its aesthetic could not save its gameplay (which had good points too, just ultimately failed).  This movie fails too, it's not particularly well written, acted, animated, or directed.  It's not horrible, it's just not interesting.  Since the fantasy is cool, the books might be, depends on how they are written, hard to say.

Foot Fist Way - Uhhhhh.... ok.  This movie is kind of like if Michael Scott was a macho tae kwan do instructor, complete with bad relationship, insecurities, bravado, awkward moments and under the breath comments.  Trouble is i can only take so much michael scott any more, let alone this guy.  Plus I really can't stand this Danny McBride guy, he just rubs me the wrong way.  He has that show on HBO, Eastbound and Down, and it just looks soooo awful.  I've heard from one place that it was actually good, but I just can't imagine how his asshole hick character can be funny.  So this movie didn't hold much for me.  There were a couple funny moments, but that's it.  It wasn't offensively bad, it was just completely empty for me.

Snow Angels - Kinda boring.  This is a drama about some people in a small town with messed up lives, then tragedy happens, and their lives are messed up some more.  It's actually descently acted, Kate Beckinsale is ever so slightly more than a pair of tits.  The kid and the husband do alright.  The movie is overall just completely forgetable, though.  I watched it two days ago and I honestly just asked myself if I liked it or not.  It's not bad, it's sad, it's just... that's all.  I did like the look of it, dreary, dirty snow, dirty town.  I'm pretty torn, I find myself rating this 3 ("I liked it") stars because I can't give it 2 ("didn't like it"), yet I'm giving 3 to the next movie too, which I defintely liked more.  I really need half stars.

Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist - This movie is mostly a love story.  It's not an original or interesting love story, but some how this indie bullshit is still working and it's cute.  Just like Juno was a very good movie, even though it was actually a horrible movie.  This has the same stuff going on, cursive credits and all.  I suppose the love story is saved by the main girl who does a very good job.  Michael Sera is just his same ole stumbly now boring self.  The friends are wacky and mostly tolerable.  The ex gf, I'm not sure if she's supposed to  be pretty and I have no idea why they think that, or if she's supposed to not be pretty so we don't like her too much?  But the love story is the framework, the decoration is all the indie band stuff.  It's decorated with an indie kids wet dream line up, though I can't imagine that indie kid being happy that now literally thousands of people know about his band.  The horror!  It strides a funny line in being about indie kids and for indie kids, but kind of making fun of indie kids.  The whole name of the band thing, especially the ridiculous search for this stupid band that's too cool for a schedule.  I hope to god that was mockery, if it was supposed to be cool this movie goes straight to the garbage.  It's also a romance with New York, hopping among performance spaces and showing off the look and feel of it, which was nice enough as an outsider, though I could have done w/o the drunk chick saying it out loud and kind of ruining the appreciation.  Not sure how it plays for a new yorker.  Overall it's likable, but I'm not sure why people liked it so much.

In other news, my new rules for indie bands to not be lame:

1) you cannot wear a horizontally stripped polo shirt

2) you cannot wear a quirky old timey hat

3) your band name cannot have punctuation

4) your band logo cannot have more than two fonts

5) your lead singer's singing voice must be distinguishable from a whining 5 year old

6) you cannot think facebook is any different than myspace

Wait, that last one didn't have anything to do with indie bands, I just dislike facebook, sorry.

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