Mar 27, 2008

How big is a 2x4?

Okay, this isn't a link, or a video, or a review, or a comment.  It's a question.

Is it JUST ME who didn't know that a 2 x 4 is actually 1.5" by 3.5"?!?!?!  What the fuck?!  a 2 by 4 is named for its saw mill size, it is then dried and finished, thus shrinking it to 1.5" by 3.5"  WHO THE HELL NAMES SOMETHING FOR ITS PREPRODUCTION SIZE?!  If I buy a gallon of water, I give no shits how many gallons of water went into making that gallon, there better be a god damned gallon of water in the jug!

I feel like the world just broke.

Mar 23, 2008

Video Game Reviews @ The Temple

As if you cared about what I thought about movies.  As if you cared what I thought about books.  Now I'll talk about video games!  I realize this serving entirely as a journal for me to remember what I thought of these things, but oh well, here it is anyway.  Plus I got a gamefly subscription, so I'll be going through more.

Stuntman: Ignition - The idea here is a car game, where you have to run through these stunt courses to make scenes for movies (or commercials), and then when you are done you get to see the "trailer" for your movie.  I played the first one of this on PS2 (I think), and I loved it.  This is more of the same.  It's a certain type of game, for a certain type of person.  You do the same thing, over and over, until you do it exactly right (or close enough) to pass.  There's one path, one right way, and you don't get to be creative.  That said, you create really cool scenes when you are done.  I had a lot of fun, but I ran through it in two days and was glad to be done with it.

Odin Sphere - This is a PS2 game, a throwback to the 2D side scroller brawlers of yore.  It is very fun, nice art style, nice combat system.  But I only got part way through the second chapter (there are 4 or 5) and sent it back.  It just got super old super quick.  I had heard only great things about this, so I was sort of disappointed.

Uncharted: Drake's Fortune - Wow, this game is awesome.  It's like indiana jones made into a game.  funny, well acted & animated, charming, good story, good everything.  Plays great too, you get to do lots of cool things.  It looks beautiful, all islandy and green.  It's really a movie you get to play, the characters are really great and enjoyable.

Heavenly Sword - Holy wow!!  I had heard middling things about this game, fun but not great.  I thought it was awesome.  It's real short, beat it in two days, so I guess I'd be grumpy if I paid $50.  But as part of gamefly it is beautiful. The graphics aren't amazing, things are a bit shiny (everything is these days), hair moves in clumbs, not strands, some textures look a little weird.  The world isn't as pretty as Uncharted, and it certainly doesn't have the same movie length story.  But it is amazingly well acted, I was totally into it.  The voice sync is a little off, but the facial animations are great, you really get emotion from these people.  The game itself is kind of a button masher with the tiniest bit of combo awareness.  There's "styles" that determine how you attack (quick, strong, long range, etc) which is a nice addiction.  Overall, this was a brilliant way to spend a few hours.  Some good extras too, the animation series includes is amazing.  It's a cartoon, very short, done in a sort of sin city shadows, rotoscope simple colors simple style.  I don't know how to describe it, I don't know these things, but it was super cool and well narrated.

Finaly Fantasy VII: Dirge of the Cerberus - Umm.... at least it's FFVII, right?  This game takes Vincent Valentine, the badassest of the people from FFVII and gives him a shooter game.  I guess his story should be interesting, but I guess I'm too far removed from FFVII to care.  And the game it self pretty much sucks.  Bad aiming, bad controls, horrendous homicidal camera.  It had a little bit of fun with it, but I couldn't convince myself it was worth going all the way through just to find out more about Vincent.

 Devil May Cry 4 - Pretty dang fun!  Nothing mind blowing, but fun to beat up some demons for sure.  Certainly better than what I remember from the previous ones.  It's pretty over the top, the showboating from Dante is kinda ridiculous, but it's fun.  One big complaint, fighting the same minibosses THREE TIMES.  Think up some new ones, dammit!

Burnout Paradise = I dunno, totally disappointing for me.  I loved the old burnouts so much.  This is fun to be sure, and I'm fine with the open city thing.  But it doesn't bring anything else to the table, and it LOSES the amazing hte crash mode.  The crash mode in this is stupid and boring.  I guess online is supposed to be fun w/ your friends driving around in the same city, but I don't care about online much, so meh.

Mar 21, 2008

USPS Mail Back Recycling

This is awesome!  You go to a post office, pick up a prepaid envelope, and mail your old electronics device (mp3 player, camera, inkjet cartridge) to a recycling center.  That's great!  Can't imagine Tucson counts as one of the 10 initial cities, but I hope it comes here soon.

Mar 16, 2008

Here Comes Dr. Tran

Okay, this is way old, but holy crap its hilarious.  There are many spin offs, I haven't gone through any except one that was just ok.  But this one is the awesome.

Here Comes Dr. Tran

Okay, this is way old, but holy crap its hilarious.  There are many spin offs, I haven't gone any except one that was just ok.  But this one is the awesome.

Mar 15, 2008

Movie Reviews @ The Temple

Run, Fat Boy, Run - So, this is by the dude who did Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz.  Quick review - Shaun of the Dead is genius.  One of my favorite movies ever, hilarious, awesome, farce/satire at its best, it is tops.  Hot Fuzz is pretty dumb, not very funny, not all that interesting.  Good bits, but nothing special.  This is a more honest movie, no satire, just sort of a story about a dude trying to get back his family.  As far as the plot goes, it's pretty standard, nothing new, everything happens exactly like you would expect it to.  It is pretty funny though, and him doing a more geniune kind of humor was much better than me than him trying to redo Shaun with Hot Fuzz.  So, it's not amazing, but I did enjoy it.

We Own The Night - Not bad.  It's basically a cop story.  It's nothing amazing, but it's servicable.  It's easy to compare to The Departed (both with Mark Wahlburg, which is weird), and fails in every respect compared to it.  But if you haven't seen a cop movie in a while and you see this, it'll be good.  Joaquin Phoenix is the best of the bunch, lotta rage and desperation going on there.  So, don't run to see it, but defintely watch if it's on.

 The Diving Bell and the Butterfly - Finally saw this one, it was as amazing as advertised.  If you haven't heard, the story is basically this guy has a stroke thing and gets "locked in syndrome"  Can't move any part of his body except one eyeball.  Using this eyeball, blinking out which letter he wants one letter at a time, he wrote a novel about his experience.  Done mostly from his perspective, and based on a real thing, it's completely amazing and beautiful.

Saw 4 - See: review of saw 3 but replace "lame story of redemption/forgiveness" with "lame story of origin/motivation".  Another boring twist, more boring backstory.  Stupid and boring.

Hitman - Video game movie!  And as such, not so good.  I loved the games, but it doesn't make for a great movie, mostly because the main character is cool for his lack of presence, not for being a leading man.  I guess it lends itself to a complicated plot, but this one was pretty generic.  Oh, plus an unnecessary love story, cuz of course.  Oh well, didn't expect it to be good, did I?

Persepolis - This movie is wonderful.  It's a story of an iranian girl, growing up in the 70s and 80s, in Iran and in Vienna.  It was a graphic novel, made into an animated movie.  The story itself is interesting and beautiful, would make a fine book.  The character art is just ok, nothing bad, nothing amazing.  The backgrounds are fantastic, though.  A prison on a hill, a city scape, even just a room - all done in this greyed (the movie is mostly black and white) style.  It looks like it was done with chalk and then photocopied 5 times, it's great.  Defintely worth seeing.  Also, my favorite quote, as she describes the changes of puberty: "My breasts grew. [she falls forward] my buttocks appeared, thus restoring my center of gravity [she pops up like a weeble wobble]"  Teehee.

Mar 11, 2008

First Look at Starcraft II Zerg

Oh god, I just pissed my pants.

Food Court Musical

How many times do I have to say how awesome Improv Everywhere is???  Go there!

Hezbollah Tofu

Hahah, this is great.  So, Anthony Bourdain, the flaming asshole who called all vegetarians terrorists, has prompted the creation of this blog, Hezbollah Tofu, dedicated to making vegan alternatives to traditional french dishes.  I don't know that they are any good, I haven't tried any yet, but it's awesome just in principle!

Kwikset SmartKey

Oh em gee I want this on all my locks right now!!  The fact that its reprogramable is cool I guess, but that it's unbumpable is fantastic.  So cool!

Mar 1, 2008

Movie Reviews @ The Temple

Jumper - Sigh.  I was so excited for this movie!!  It's a dude, and he teleports!!!  How can that not be awesome?!  Well, it turns out, it's not awesome.  Chiefly the writing, absolutely horrendous.  The first 30 minutes are painful.  They gave Diane Lane the shittiest dialog.  Samuel Jackson just does his squinty glarey thing the whole time.  It's really disappointing.  There are cool parts, and teleportation is always cool, no matter what.  It just fails in most other respects.  Plus, I made someone else endure it with me, for which I feel rather bad.

Into The Wild - Help!  I don't know what to do with this movie!  My first impression is how unbelievably obnoxious it is.  The main character is a spoiled little brat whose form of rebellion is this pseudo-philisophical, naturalist, faux-poetic, self-righteous bullshit life choice.  I was so annoyed with him, I don't need his stupid story to teach me about the importance of human relationships, I already figured it out!  On the other hand, the people he meets throughout are pretty great.  The old man at the end, whose performance was nominated for an oscar and was the reason I watched this movie, is amazing.  So do I hate it?  Love it?  I don't buy the poetry, I don't buy the beauty.  The main character is a douche, but I guess they knew that, right?  I'm supposed to appreciate it inspite of, because of, that?  I don't know!  I'm very confused.  Great soundtrack though.

Last King of Scotland - Wow, this was pretty great.  Maybe not exactly as amazing as I had heard, but pretty awesome.  Forest Whitaker is amazing.  His descent through the movie is really good.  If There Will Be Blood hadn't flipped my shit so hardcore, I might be calling it the best batshit-insane acting I've seen in a while.  I didn't know the story, so I didn't know how it would end, so I guess that made it more suspenseful for me.  The whole last bit is pretty intense.  So yeah, if you are as far behind as me on big movies, I'd say go see it!

Fur - BORing!  This movie is supposed to be a shocking and dramatic romance.  I notice one reviewer brings up Birth, the last Nicole Kidman movie that had a shocking and dramatic romance.  This time it's a wolfman type guy. zzzzzz  Don't care about him, or her, or if they do or don't fall in love.  At times I questioned myself, like it felt like it should have been good and I wasn't getting it.  But I think that's just it, it thought it should be good, but it wasn't.

One Night With The King - Okay, this movie isn't so great, I guess.  The writing and acting are pretty bad.  The weird thing is that despite that, I didn't hate the movie.  It kept me moderatley interested.  Maybe because I don't know the story (it's a bible story, about esther), I was more interested than I otherwise would have been.  Anyway, I can't really recommend it, it's not good at all, but it's not too horrible.

The Queen - Another 2006 oscar movie I'm just getting too!  Pretty fascinating.  I've never been at all interested in the royals thing, so I didn't know much about it.  Despite not caring, though, the movie was very captivating, like a behind the scenes view of a very public affair (the death of princess di).  I'm not sure why Helen Mirren got an oscar, she was good and all, great even, but I didn't fall over or anything.  Nothing much more to say, it is pretty much what you would expect, just very well done.

Happy Feet - This movie was entirely completely 100% average.  Not that funny, all popular songs song by people that didn't impress me, ok animation, ok story, ok everything, who cares?  And I love penguins, I'm an easy audience!  Boring!

Breakfast at Tiffany's - So I had never seen this movie, crazy right?  I rather liked it!  It has the single most offensive character I've ever seen ever in a movie.  Mickey Rooney playing a japanese landlord, complete with puffed up cheeks and buck teeth.  It was absolutely atrocious.  Black face is the only thing I can think of MORE offensive!  Besides that, though, I am, as usual, very impressed with the cleverness and the writing in these old movies.  Nice subtle remarks, leaving things unsaid that don't need to be said.  It's cheesy and corny, and the ending is totally boring romance stuff, but most of the movie was quite enjoyable.

 El Espinazo del Diablo - Oh wow, this movie is great!  It's by Guillermo del Toro (pan's labyrinth), and it's kind of a ghost story.  Though it's really another story with a ghost story character.  It's really fantastic, not super scary, but I love the ghost and his special effect.  This is why seeing foreign scary movies is cool.  We are all used to the american thing, and by now even the japanese thing.  Whatever you think the merits of the different kinds are, just seeing a different approach to it is a lot of fun.  I was really impessed by the whole thing, I likes it!