Let me be clear, I loved linkin park for about a year, I permanently associate them with my first trip to Mt. Graham. But this is fucking hilarious.
May 24, 2008
Indiana Jones 4 - Fun! Silly, but fun! I was very scared of this movie, it really didn't look good. In the end, as long as you can turn your brain all the way off, don't even let the little part in the back that keeps an eye out for fires and terrorists on. If you do that, this movie is great. People punching and whipping and car chasing and yelling. Besides some bad CG, it's pretty much good all around and everyone does a fine job. It will never been like the originals cuz it didn't come out when I was 8, but it's still good. The mystical part of the plot is ridiculous, far more ridiculous than any other indiana jones movie, even #2. So you will roll your eyes continuously throughout the last 15 minutes. But besides that it's quite fun and totally worth seeing.
The Quiet - Well, this movie sucked. More so because it seems like it could have been good. It's a reasonable premise, from the perspective of a deaf mute girl. Except that is quickly discarded, then throw in a fucked up family situation and it's super cliche. Still, maybe could have been good, except for the bad acting and writing part. Especially the voiceover stuff, what is this, a 12 year old's poetry journal?
Dagon - So this is my first Lovecraft movie (which is to say, a horror movie with a tentacle fetish), and I gotta say, i don't get it. it's just zombies, except with gills. Same cheesy acting, fighting, talking, boobies, boring. What's the big deal? Cuz they have squid legs? Ok, then what? I have Cthulu somewhere (it's an old one), maybe that will convince me, maybe this is a 2001 bastardization of Lovecraftian awesomeness, I dunno. Defintely not good though.
Marie Antionette - Strike 1 - rock soundtrack on a period movie. Strike 2 - Kirsten Dunst is only ever in a good movie on accident. Strike 3 - pop soundtrack on a period movie!! This movie never had a chance with me. Dumb and boring and dumb.
A Fish Called Wanda - 80s movie, that I never saw. Like most 80s movies, if you saw it in the 80s, it's great, and you will love it your whole life and quote it and watch it over and over. If, however, you see it in 2008 it, it's cute, but silly, and ultimately meh. PS, this review just cost me a friend :)
Last Train to Freo - Huh, I dunno. This movie starts out just ok, then it ramps up and becomes quite good. Then the primary performance falls to pieces at the very end, kind of souring me on the movie. It's a very small movie, meant to be that way, just 5 people on a train, you never see anyone else really. It feels very ordinary for a while, which is fine I guess, but I had this consistent feeling that it could be much better and I can't tell why it's not. It gets pretty intense, and I think everyone does a good job. But the end, man, how do I get over that horrible silliness? I think it's worth seeing, it's kind of like a play, so small in scope, so focused. Aha, the credits just rolled by, it's based on a play, well that makes sense. Okay, so points to them for making an interesting little piece that is worth watching. Doesn't change my life, but interesting.
13 Tzameti - Weird movie. For the first 30 min so I couldn't have been less intersted, it was just boring and french. Then it gets to the point and it's kinda fucked up, but pretty tense to watch, so that was good. Then it comes around with a whatever ending. Coulda gone that way, coulda gone another way, kind of doesn't even matter. It's worth the middle bit though, just to marvel at the twistedness of some ideas!
May 23, 2008
The Darkness - Holy shit, this game was fucking amazing!! Maybe it was because of low expectations, but I thought this was soooo good! I played the demo, I remember thinking "eh, whatevs", another FPS, another mob story, add in some crazy powers. So I wasn't thinking this would be much, but wow it was really fantastic. The story is just so engaging, this is the most I've been into a game in a long time! More so than Drake, more so than Heavenly Sword, both games I loved. And what's weird, it's not exactly a ground breaking story - mob hitman gets betrayed by his boss, goes on a vengence spree. There's a grandma, a girlfriend, and an old guard of mobsters that's on your side. Nothing new, yeah? Then why was I captivated? Good writing? Astoundingly good voice acting? Both of those, I guess, not sure what else, but it was great. And the last scene, which I'm positive has been in at least half a dozen movies, had me riveted. The whole last section was really dramatic and cool. There were issues, to be fair. First of, it's a damn FPS on a damn console. This is countered by the second issue that the game is pretty easy because you are ridiculously overpowered with your Darkness stuff. Third, the main guy looks like a Crow reject. Fourth, the main guy's mouth barely moves when he talks! What the hell? Everyone else's does! Somehow he's got mumble mouth? It's such a weird delibrate choice and was really distracting for the first 1/3 of the game. Besides these things though? Aces 10+! Oh, and the world itself feels really good, it's not exactly a sandbox, but it is remarkably real feeling for an FPS. And get this, there's little TV sets in the game, on which you can watch full length movies! I saw the first 10 minutes of To Kill A Mockingbird! There's movies, kung fu, tv shows, music videos, such a weird but cool addition! I don't know, I just can't get over how good this game was, it might be my favorite PS3 game so far (recognizing I haven't played GTA4 yet). Oh, and apparently it's based on a comic! Yer god damn right I'm getting it!
Kingdom Hearts II - Okay, here's the thing, I LOVED the first game. I thought it was so cute and charming and it just sucked you in. It was like being a kid, it was so neat. But this game is just super lame. First of all, the opening 4 hours are the single most boring section of RPG game to ever exist. ever. Beyond that, the game is just not as cute as it was the first time. Going to all the worlds is mostly boring. The pirates world was embarassing, the rhythm section of little mermaid made no sense at all. The only thing that actually made me feel like the first game was the Steamboat Willie black & white world, and Pooh (which was my favorite last time). I'm really just super disappointed.
Folklore - This is one of the first-gen of PS3 games, it's an RPG. I love the idea and the art direction. You sort of go into this fantasy world where you capture fantasy creatures and use their attacks like spells to attack or defend against other creatures (and capture them). Kind of a pokemon thing, with a more fantastic setting. I played the demo and really enjoyed the look of the game. Unfortunately, the game is monuMENTally boring. I give no shits about the story, the characters, what's happening next, blah blah. It's a fun little game, but easily forgettable except for it's look. In fact, I gave up on it, halfway through. It's so boring, and now it's gotten hard enough I can't breeze through it, so I really lost patience. Probably didn't help that i was in a bad mood that day, but oh well, back to gamefly it goes!
Fight Night Round 3 - Boxing game! I havne't played a boxing game since Mike Tyson's Punchout! It's quite a bit of fun, and it makes me act all testosteroney. I get very bravado and trash talky (yes, to a TV!) and macho while I'm playing this thing. The rap soundtrack helps. The game looks quite good, a lot of effort went into making hte boxers look realistic, sweat, spit, blood, and all. Too bad they couldn't use 1% of that to make the round number girls look like they didn't have down syndrome. As for the game play, I don't know, I've not done boxing in forever, I have no frame of reference. It's fun for me, seems pretty well controlled. I can't imagine how to play this game very well, I can't see any punches coming and block them. If i block it's cuz I guessed right. So far my only strategy is jab the hell out of them and then haymaker them in the side until they go down. It's worked so far! Anyway, looks good, plays fun, but this is coming from an amateur.
May 15, 2008
May 11, 2008
Ironman - Alllllright. So, this is a very good movie. Robert Downey Jr., as we have all been saying for years, is Tony Stark Incarnate. Jeff Bridges is mostly great, Gwenyth Paltrow is good enough up till the end. The writing is better than most of these movies, genuinely funny. The action is great, when there is some, and the CG is amazing, ironman is copy&pasted directly from the comic and it's fantastic. So, mostly very good. It is not the second coming of Batman Begins, however (nor was Batman Begins the second coming of anything, bee tee dubs). There is too much building. I know that's kind of necessary because it's his origin story, but I could have done with 7 or 8 fewer building montages, and 1 or 2 more ironamn shooting shit montages. Plus the end is kinda retarded, Pepper Pots turns into a second rate slasher flick dumb bitch and the "finishing move" makes no sense in a movie inundated with suspension of disbelief (most of which - all the tech, the weapons, the computers, the AI - I am happy to embrace). So i was not blown away, it is very good, but it didn't change my life.
Snow Cake - This movie is good. It's pretty forgettable though. Which is sad, no one does a bad job. Alan Rickman is just sort of himself, but it's good. Sigorney Weaver is decent as a person with autism. Even Carrie Anne Moss is servicable. I don't know, it's fine, it's good, but I won't remember it later, I'm pretty sure. Best line of the movie: "It's ok, I know about autism, I've seen that movie."
Horton Hears a Who - Sure, whatever. It's funny, it's cute. I saw it yesterday and I already forgot most of it! If you like this kind of thing, for sure see it, it is entertaining. But it's just a decent animated movie.
Adam's Rib - Another in the Let's See Old Movies series, it was good enough. Defintely not as good as Tiffany's, it was interesting in the context of when it came out, though. Women's rights and equality and such in the 40s. The courtroom drama is kind of stupid, but it's impact on the relationship is cool, which I guess is the point. I don't think I've ever seen a Spencer Tracy movie, maybe not even Hepburn, so it was good to see them, they are certainly great at what they do. I think what blew me away about Tiffany's was the cleverness in the writing though. The writing here isn't bad at all, certainly, but it doesn't have quite the wit or subtlety, I don't think.
License to Wed - I'm writing this 30 minutes in to this movie, it is stupid AND retarded. It's not funny, Robin WIlliams is a joke anymore and not in a good way. The entire set up is just aggrivating to watch. I'll probably watch the rest cuz its just one while I play a game, but jesus it is dumb.
Angel-A - Hm, kind of a weird French movie. I'ts by Luc Besson (he did 5th element, not that that's very relevant). Mostly its about a rock-bottom kind of guy turning it around, but with this fantastic (as in fantasy) element thrown in. It's good, I guess, kind of basic. There are a couple really wonderful parts (one is just a camera shot going under a bridge). The thing in the mirror is very nice. The end is strange. Not unexpected strange, just strange that they actually went there. There's a funny resonance with Battlestar Galactica of all things, the tall blonde other worldly woman who acts as guide and conscience and savior (kind of). I dunno, I guess I like it, but not crazy like.
May 8, 2008
May 5, 2008
May 2, 2008
May 1, 2008
Heard this on Daily Show, considering presidential speech writing. It was so awesome, I had to quote it, probably so I can steal part of it some day.
He writes the worst English that I have ever encountered. It reminds me of a string of wet sponges; it reminds me of tattered washing on the line; it reminds me of stale bean soup, of college yells, of dogs barking idiotically through endless nights. It is so bad that a sort of grandeur creeps into it. It drags itself out of the dark abysm of pish, and crawls insanely up the topmost pinnacle of posh. It is rumble and bumble. It is flap and doodle. It is balder and dash.